Thursday, May 20, 2010

Fuck You I'm an Anteater!



Early morning to rise, Ishtar had to be taken into the shop which left me to make my way from Broadway and 25th to Fruitvale on foot and BART. A sound track consisting of Random Rab, Of Porcelain, Lunchtray, Slidecamp, to name a few. Time to walk, think, reflect, of life and those around me. Watching people scurry by with their heads down; afraid to look anyone in the eyes much less be caught looking at their own reflection somewhere.
When was the last time you really looked at yourself? All the beauty mixed with whatever imperfections that probably only you can see. How many times have you caught yourself wishing you were different in some way? It can take an entire lifetime for people to realize that we are perfect exactly how we are.
I don't care if you are rough around the edges, if sometimes you say the wrong thing, if you have moments of doubt, if you are not who you want to be yet. What matters to me is that you are living your life for you and only you. I care that you learn and grow from your experiences, that you strive to experience joy in some way. I care about you not giving up to the challenges around you but meeting them head on with grace. One of my favorite quotes goes :
"It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars" Garrison Keillor. Display your scars proudly because you lived to tell the tale, you will be someone with stories to share and wisdom to disperse.
All of this reflection reminded me of 'The Invitation' by Oriah. It makes the point that we must not live how society thinks we should live but that we must live how WE think we should live and be happy doing it. It doesn't matter that you aren't perfect, what matters is that you have the integrity and the strength to admit it and embrace it.

The Invitation by Oriah
It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon...
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.

It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.



This time this life is all we got, live it in the most joy you possibly can because even in the gritty parts of the city beauty prevails.

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