breaking down

Burning Man was a dream for me, it was so much thrown into one but one of the main reasons it was so epic for me was JJ. We were in separable the entire week to the point that his brothers just told us to get married and get it over with. We had intense conversations about our relationship, we admitted to each other that we were falling for each other. One night we went out separately and the next day he looked at me and told me that he wanted to be with me last night instead of his friends. He told me that I was his girl not just on the playa but back home in Colorado as well.
we got back and it all seemed to fall apart. The real world kicked our asses. The thought of letting someone in, of actually having someone love him scares the shit out of him. He's hasn't been in love in years, has been alone for so long that it's easier to remain so. his friends told me that they hope I would be the one to break the wall, to save his soul. To love him and teach him to love back. I wanted to be that person too, I was already falling for him deeply. At first it seemed like it would be good but then I think fear got the best of him. It seems he would rather let something go that could be amazing, let go of what could be love because he is too scared to face that part of himself.
he met another woman a couple of nights ago, he didn't admit to it until a grabbed his cell phone, he had texted her "I can't wait to see you again" and her something to the effect of wanting him all night long. He couldn't deny it any longer. I was so angry because it was SO good between us then it went SO bad and he wouldn't talk to me about anything. he is incapable of talking about his inner emotions at all. So here I am nursing a broken piece in my heart knowing that there's nothing I can do but let it go. If he wants to be with me, to grow up and take a leap I want to but I can chase after a ghost anymore. I think I actually felt my heart breaking when I read those texts, and they were on Sept. 26th only a couple of days ago. It's been weeks since he's texted me with can't wait to see you again and it seems like I might not ever talk to him again. My friend told me that at least we'll have Burning Man, it seems like he's right, we'll at least have Burning Man.