Rain

Last night I was in a flurry of negative moods. I leave tomorrow for the playa, there is still so much to buy, so much to do and I'm running out of money, waiting for my check by the mailbox. It made me frustrated to wait until the last minute to finish then do a 1000 mile drive. I have been trying to connect with a friend to see where he's at, wanting to spend time with him out there. My text and emails have fallen into a black hole it seems. No response at all which seems a little strange because I'm not asking for anything but a yes or no. It made me a little unsettled about the situation. Why can't people just communicate? It isn't hard to connect with others, to speak your truth. I never seem to have a problem with it but everyone else (men) I run into seems to be blocked by some invisible wall that prevents them from having intimate human interactions. I am at the point where I think I'm going to just let it go, which makes me sad because we had a nice connection in the beginning and it could have been an amazing friendship or relationship. I went to bed in a grumpy mood, irriated and a little sad. I awoke about 3am to the most intense rainstorm I've heard in years. It pounded the house with lightening and thunder only minutes apart from each other. I feel back asleep and woke up in the morning to a fresh landscape and cool air, it's the first time I've worn pants since I got to Colorado. It was nice to smell the air and see the clouds hanging over the mountains. it made me smile and laugh, all the negative energy melted away and life just seemed simple again.