I ask the night sky for many things tonight
seeing the moon clearly before the clouds move in
clarity
sense of direction
hope
I want it's soft light to cradle my head and tell me to release my fears
the road is shadowed from me and I do not know where to go
who to believe in
confusion abound

I think I might do it, make the leap. Instead of staying here and working and saving money I'm going to try and head to Oakland get a job and a place. Oh lordy I hope this will bring some light

I'm not sure how to move forward from this position

Raw

Wow, life has been crazy lately. None of the plans that I had are working out like I thought they would. That's true about life though on all levels. I've been thrown a curve ball in so many situations that I had to take a step back and rearrange everything. So now I'm at my Dad's biding my time for the next opportunity to show itself. This position leaves me feeling raw and vulnerable, lying naked in the snow. Having faith I guess in the universe that there is something for me somewhere. I think part of it is that my nomadic days have been suspended somewhat. I feel most comfortable when I'm moving around. I'm not sure what that says for my psyche but it's where I'm at right now. Maybe a part of me is scared to put down roots, I'm just not sure.
I went to the bay last weekend and had a fantastic time with some of my dpw friends. More and More I am feeling like they are family. I got caught up in this strange triangle of sorts. I wanted to be with a man that my friend was hanging out with. After him and I kissed he told me about her so I went directly to her and talked to her about it. She was alright with me seeing him and so the next night I did. I ended up liking him more than I thought. I'm not ready for a relationship, so much of my heart has been broken last year that sometimes I question if I even have one left. So I know I'm not ready but that doesn't stop me from liking him. Kind of an interesting situation and I'm not sure what to do. In the end the only thing I can do is continue on and see what happens.

angels

There's so much of me that feels sad right now. I'm not sure of the origin but it's deep in my heart. I don't care to elaborate at all, just want to state the way of things.

rainy dayz

Today was a constant cover of rain and clouds. Woke up on the earlier side to sloosh through the mud to the main building just in time for coffee and chatting with friends. Spent the day cleaning the Ganesh shrine. Saying a blessing before like the closet hippie I am then removed all the offerings, set them aside and continued to give Ganesh a bath. It was fun working in the rain and just doing someting with my hands. The treat was when we were all done to come inside and warm up bu a fire with some tea. It's the simple things sometimes that are you amazing.