Raw

Wow, life has been crazy lately. None of the plans that I had are working out like I thought they would. That's true about life though on all levels. I've been thrown a curve ball in so many situations that I had to take a step back and rearrange everything. So now I'm at my Dad's biding my time for the next opportunity to show itself. This position leaves me feeling raw and vulnerable, lying naked in the snow. Having faith I guess in the universe that there is something for me somewhere. I think part of it is that my nomadic days have been suspended somewhat. I feel most comfortable when I'm moving around. I'm not sure what that says for my psyche but it's where I'm at right now. Maybe a part of me is scared to put down roots, I'm just not sure.
I went to the bay last weekend and had a fantastic time with some of my dpw friends. More and More I am feeling like they are family. I got caught up in this strange triangle of sorts. I wanted to be with a man that my friend was hanging out with. After him and I kissed he told me about her so I went directly to her and talked to her about it. She was alright with me seeing him and so the next night I did. I ended up liking him more than I thought. I'm not ready for a relationship, so much of my heart has been broken last year that sometimes I question if I even have one left. So I know I'm not ready but that doesn't stop me from liking him. Kind of an interesting situation and I'm not sure what to do. In the end the only thing I can do is continue on and see what happens.