The sun is rising on a new day. I must move forward alone.

Holding

I've come to a point where I am at a holding pattern in my life. It's where your lover tells you they wish they had time to iron out the wrinkles in your relationship but they need to work and make money right now, soon though, soon. It's where you lay awake at night and listen to his breathing and wonder when you will leave him or even if you can leave him. Where your job drains you but you cannot leave now, not when you are leaving for Burning Man for a month and need something to come back to. It's that time where you feel like you are so close to it whatever it is but you cannot reach it and instead you eat a cookie and then feel worse. I'm wondering when it will all chance or what I am really meant for if this isn't it.

MIssing You

My friend Leah just sent me some pictures of the last night I had in Colorado when I was there a couple of weeks ago. I cannot say enough how much I love my Colorado family. If I had not fallen in love I would probably still be living there. It's getting to be summer by now, warm and lovely. With those afternoon thunder storms that last only 30 minutes but cool you off just enough. Yeah I miss it there, I wish I could live both places.

Rainbows

To me Colorado is all about rainbows, I see them all the time there. On my way to Denver Friday night there was a rainbow the went over the freeway,I drove right through it. It was so beautiful and bright. It was a beautiful end to my time there.
I'm back in Santa Cruz, the whole move was very emotional for me. I love Colorado and I love my friends there. If I could somehow live both places I would. I wish I could have spent more time there but in reality it's never enough time, we all have to leave sometimes. Two days of driving through hot climates with my cat in the back seat to finally make it to Santa Cruz at 3am. I felt misplaced and lonely. I spent the next day sleeping on an off trying to recover from a long trip and partying in Boulder. It was nice to finally have my kitty with me sleeping next to me. Now comes the fun of unpacking all my boxes and trying to find space for everything I brought back! But that can wait, I'm off to Lightning in a Bottle on Thursday!!!!

Scattered

I'm back in the rocky mountains to get the rest of my belongings to make the final move to Santa Cruz. It makes me sad to know that my time here is over. I really loved it here (except getting my car stuck in the snow). it's beautiful all the time and Boulder is so cute and small. I cried last night when I thought about leaving. We all have to move on sometimes.

I leave for Colorado next Tuesday. I am very excited to see the rockies again. Being there had a profound affect on me and it is something I never will forget. If I hadn't of fallen in love with Brandon I might still be living there which wouldn't be so bad. I do love those mountains, so beautiful. It seems like it might be good spring weather when I'm there. Hmmmm warm ,spring boulder, sounds delicious like ice tea on a hot summer day. See you soon rocky mountains!

Life is

Bliss
I've come out on top from a challenging couple of weeks
it feels so good to be where I am at this moment