It's hard to tell someone you love that you are leaving, I had to do it. It still haunts me, right now while I'm sitting alone at 4am. No one to talk to, no one to cradle my head while I cry. I've paid the ultimate price for freedom. I could've stayed forever with him in a cloud of doubt, he never would have left me. I had to choose to leave, to break the ties that bind. I regret a little almost every day but I know I made the right choice. What kills me is hurting him. There was a time when he was my sun but that was so long ago I don't remember anymore. I still remember his face when I told him our story was done, the tears that came. The promises to change that I know will never happen. Looking into thos eyes of blue and knowing that he will never call me cutie again. It tore me up and honestly I dont know if I will ever recover. I told someone very dear to me that I was broken, he told me that wasn't true but in a way I am. Part of me will never recover from what I have done to others but now I have no choice but to sit with it and let the current take me.