making peace

The last couple of weeks I've been faced with the reality that I need to make peace in my heart with circumstances that will not resolves themselves anytime soon. There are times when friendship is not what it seems and the world seems to be against you. Connections that I thought were solid that in reality I need to let go of. There are only some many times that something that be broken apart and glues back together again. Some people are just not supposed to travel through life together, or at least travel for a while through life together. There is some of this that is my fault, I wasn't clear on our situation. I believed that it was different that he saw it and that is my fault for not being clear. We could have avoided this hurt and loss of friendship, well maybe we could have. In so many ways though I feel like I was punished for living my life, for falling in love. The way that he handled the situation was childish at best but I was a fool to think that we have evolved enough to be friends. We learn through our experiences and I have learned from this one. It is a challenge to not let anger and bitterness tear threw my heart. I have been trying to cultivate love and compassion for this situation. People come into our lives for a reason, a season ,or a lifetime. Mike had his purpose in my life although I am still figuring out what it all was for. I hope we'll be friends again someday, I don't know if we will but I hope.

Then a woman said, "Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow."

And he answered:

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.

And how else can it be?

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?

And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."

But I say unto you, they are inseparable.

Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.

Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.

When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

~The Prophet