I love my friends

I've made decisions this week that will impact my life forever. Forever is a funny word, I never thought that anything would last forever because I've been proved that such things do not exist. I thought B and I would last forever and now anything between us must turn to dust.
I've been getting a lesson in letting go
actually it's been more of a fall from grace
I hit the bottom and now I rise again
what will happen now??
So much my heart has to process and let go of. I have no choice but to be strong enough but I know I'm not strong enough to have B in my life, actually it's not about strength it's about my desire to be happy and healthy. I cannot do those things with him around.
It's sad when things have to die to be re-born, I'm amazed that we have survived as a human race with this kind of cycle.

You wrapped me in your arms
I followed you through heaven
through love
then through fire
you let me fall
through death
now I'm alone
you fled
like a child
I should've known
that this is the path I would be on

I got to spend some time with one of my favorite people this afternoon. It proves how time can heal and if people are meant to be in your life they will be.

I've been thinking about the Serenity prayer lately, we were talking about it earlier

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference

It's something that I need to remember, sometimes I get my priorities messed up! With Ry I had to accept that I cant change anything but also accept that I had something really special in a friend.
That's priceless

I'm leaving to go on tour this week with Bassnectar and Random Rab!

excited about new adventures

life is aligned

I went for a walk in the rain to clear my head. It was nice pounding the pavement listening to beats that only I can hear. Moving through that energy that wants to hold me down. I will not give in and I am strong enough. But for you and I, worst fears may prevail, we are too far gone.

Tonight

I have to see (,)
not sure how I ever feel about it
one thing is certain, I miss my friend

A year ago

A year ago the temple crew moved into the American Steel warehouse in Oakland to turn Shrine's vision into a reality for all to enjoy at Burning Man last year. In a couple weeks the temple crew will reunite one last time to re-build the temple's little cousin, the tasseograph, at it's final resting place in Marin. When the task is completed there will be a night of telling stories around a fire, drinking libations, and seeing each other as a group for the last time. My heart swells at the thought of this. The temple changed my life and I will always be grateful for the experience that I had there. I was given the option to tell Brandon myself which I took. I'm not sure if I want him there, he blongs of course but I don't know if I can stomach it. The temple was our baby, we gave so much of ourselves to it. Who knows what will happen in life.