I Need One

Sitting outside with the morning dew resting on the wood of the deck, smoking a clove, sipping my morning coffee, cats playing at my feet. I've often wondered how I would end up, what life I would be living. You never can tell and you'll never know what really moves us in the end until it's upon us.

Love, Stars, and all that

When I was young I used to believe that once you found the love of your life that you would live together happily forever and ever. I never wanted to accept that along with the joy that relationships were work. There were many times I would have rather run away that work on something that I believed should just naturally work all the time. It wasn't really until now that I realized that I have something worth working for. As I approach my 30th year of life I see that in order to function in a healthy relationship there is give and take on both side. getting to know that person for better and worse and being gentle because you are both learning all the time. I was sitting at work today watching the clouds roll by over the tree covered mountain when the thought of having a child popped into my head. I'm not sure if I ever want children but after today I know that if I was going to it would be with Brandon. That in it's self says so much about my love for him. Everyday it grows deeper. I come more and more out of the shell I built around me heart to trust him that he really does love me for everything I am and I do not have to change a single thing about myself. No one has ever loved me unconditionally before besides my family. It's an experience that is both scary and exhilarating. I can only hope that it will last for the rest of my years on this earth, I cannot think of a better way to live life than with him.

Life is moving along at a steady pace. I'm on spring break with too much time on my hands. My work with the Temple and Lighting in a Bottle take up some time but not too much. Brandon is having to put in more hours at work so we can get caught up which leaves me a lone even when he's home. It's those kinds of times when life is raw, not really much going on, not enough time to spend with your loved one. It's a time when shit has to get done and there's no room for glory. I know it will pass but it leaves me a little blue. I would love to go out and muse myself but moneys tight right now. I'm looking forward to summer and Burning Man.

Heart and Soul

I am the volunteer coordinator for the temple this year at Burning Man. I am extremely blessed to have this opportunity to contribute to my community in this way. I am very excited to pour my heart and soul into this project. Along with working on the DPW this is going to be a very good year indeed.
http://basurasagrada.org/

blessed

I love my life

love and heaven

Lately I have been wondering about love, being in love, loving one another. My friend Amy and her partner Jay just celebrated 10 years of being together. Their story is inspiring to me since many people do not make it past a year these days. Love is the most important ingredient for a long lasting partnership but they also require work, trust, and about a 100 other things. Lately the real world has slammed down hard on my relationship. School, work, and obligations do not leave us the time to stare into each others eyes like we used to. The shift made me wonder if something was wrong but then I realized that life is a cycle, relationships are cycles. The only constant in life is change. We must learn to be fluid in our lives and keep the faith that our cycles have purpose and meaning. I wake up next to the man I love everyday and that is a gift. The business of our lives will mellow out sometime soon and we can have fun adventures again but of course busy times will be back and gone again. It has been humbling to be in a relationship that I do not want to run from, that I do not place blame on the other person for challenges. I guess I've grown up in a sense and also met the right person to grow with. I've learned that not everything can go as planned and that love is the strongest force of them all.